A welder of a local firm was branded a fowl fucker after his sordid lunchtime hobby was uncovered.
A factory cleaner – who wishes to remain anonymous – uncovered the fowl lunchtime habit of one of its workers after finding a pile of feathers hidden in the corner of the factory on his sweeping up rounds.
As soon as the depraved act was uncovered the cleaner reported it to the factory manager.
Chuck McNugget, a welder at the factory in Nantucket, was called into the factory managers office to explain himself and was subsequently fired.
“I often thought it was a bit odd when he would walk down the factory flapping his arms like wings singing I feel like chicken tonight… and now we know why!” Said Roger Rocket, a work colleague of Mr McNugget.
Another one of his colleagues Amir Forthenight had this to say; “It’s disgusting thinking about it now we know what he was doing. I used to ask him what he was having for lunch and he would always say ‘I am having chicken’ then he would wink at me and give me a weird grin. I always thought it was strange, but I understand now, the dirty bleeder.”
“When he used to disappear behind the back of the factory we just assume that he had a seat there and was enjoying some sun and fresh air while he had his lunch.”
“We just thought the chicken squawks and cries that you could hear was him practicing for a show. You know what these amateur dramatic people are like, they do that kind of shit don’t they? You know, pretend they are a tree in preparation of playing one of the ugly sisters in a panto or something.”
Mr McNugget and the owner of the company declined to comment.
ShizNGiggles would like to say that no chickens were harmed in the making up of this bollocks.